The past few weeks you’ve been so not here.

I almost thought, today, you didn’t exist.

You were a figment of my imagination.

I had made you up, to make up for

some hole in my life.

And that made me feel better about everything.

for YOU WERE NONEXISTENT!

but then

I listened

to the one voicemail you ever left me.

I saw the cards you made me;

although, neither had your name written anywhere on them.

and I laughed.

good heavens, did I laugh.

you were real all along, very real.

I had made up, in my mind, who I wanted you to be,

and you weren’t, no matter how much I tried to convince myself.

That part of you, did not exist.

But now i’m okay.

I’m okay to believe that you don’t exist.

I have no idea who you are

because I simply have found

that I

just

don’t

care.