You meet this boy because he hits you in the back with a cymbal during marching band.  You turn around and immediately you like him.  What a cute smile!  He has a girlfriend.  What a pity.  You stay friends, but only just.  You talk, but just barely.  You ask him to prom, just as friends, of course.  He says yes, but you don’t think he sounds too excited.  You chicken out and go with someone else.  He is only a freshman after all and you’re a junior.  After this, you stop talking to him.  You’re afraid he figured something out.  Fast forward to August.  You and your friends go to see the new movie in the Harry Potter series.  He shows up…wearing a wizard hat.  He was such an outgoing kid.  You liked that.  You had always been so shy.  He had known that you liked him.  But you hadn’t known that he was too nervous to ask you out.  And then, on August 21, 2007, your friends threatened him until he did.  You dated for five months.  Five wonderful months.  So many memories.  Going to your house after Homecoming and not watching that movie you put in at all.  Lying in the grass at his house, even though he had bad allergies.  Falling asleep on his sofa, waking up an hour later than you were supposed to be home.  Having an entire conversation about what would be the perfect wedding songs. [You and Me (Lifehouse) and High (James Blunt)].  Having him over that day no one was at your house.  And gosh, without a shirt on…he was so tan! and his skin was so soft and silky.  Staying at your house all night, you, asleep in his arms.  You took him for granted.

            He broke up with you on January 22, 2008.  You knew it was mostly your fault.  And yet, you were more upset than you had ever been in your entire life.  You had screwed things up.  You should have trusted him.  You should have made sure he trusted you.  He saved the last dance for you at Snowball.  After the dance, he hung out with you and your friends.  He told you he would always love you, no matter what.  He told you how beautiful you looked in your silver dress; that he was sad when you changed from that, into your pajamas.  He made you promise to go to prom with him this year.  He kissed you again.  It was one of the best nights of your life.

            The following week, he started dating someone else.  You didn’t know what to think anymore.  He left you so confused and worried and angry.  You felt you had been used.  And yet, you couldn’t get over him…no matter how hard you tried.  There was something about him, that you just couldn’t let go of.  He may never have believed you loved him.  And yet, if you didn’t love him, you would have moved on by now.  And then, he started calling you again.  He told you he loved you.  Every.  Single.  Time.  And, of course, you loved him back…maybe even more. 

            He came over to your house today.  Nostalgia hit, as you laid on the sofa with him; his arms wrapped tight around you.  He whispered he loved you in your ear.  He even offered you that “one last kiss” you so dearly wanted.  But you couldn’t take it.  He has a girlfriend.  No matter how much you dislike her, you couldn’t do that to her.  Sure, she could do that to you when you were still dating him…but you couldn’t do that to her…no matter how much you wanted to.  And besides, you knew that one kiss wouldn’t suffice.  You would be left longing for more…and realizing how big of a fuck-up you are.  And even now, he’s gone….again…..always too soon.  And even now, even though nothing happened….you still know, that you’ve screwed up once again.  You missed your chance.  Some people just have all the luck in the world. 

            People say you’re crazy.  You’re only eighteen.  You’re too young to be that much in love.  It’s not love.  It’s just lust.  Maybe you are crazy.  You wouldn’t doubt that.  But you know your own feelings.  And you know what you feel is love.  You know he’s the one.  And you know, you want to spend the rest of your life with him.  You know he’s the best thing that has ever happened to you.  And you know, that you’re going to do whatever it takes, to make sure that tomorrow starts with him.